I’ve tried to do the whole new year, new me bullshit. I’m terrible at thinking of one and even worse at sticking to it. Work out? Quit smoking? These things translate to eat Taco Bell 4 days a week and chain smoke because fuck you no one tells me what to do, not even myself.
After my last very nasty law enforcement involved breakup I decided to write down a list of things I wanted to do now that I was a single 23 year old. Surprisingly bang everything that breathes or buys me a drink wasn’t on the list, though in hindsight it would have been a nice addition. No instead I ended up with a two page mission ranging from little silly things like going to the circus and building sandcastles to big seemingly impossible and serious things like staying single for a whole year to discover myself. Slightly nauseating I know but I was wounded.
I call this beautiful piece of work my big and small list because I’m witty and clever. So I present my 2014 big and small list.
Get a Tommys breakfast burger (Wake your booty up girl breakfast ends early)
Get a new piercing
Go on some solo hikes with Chingis
Paint something (a face, a wall, a picture, just throw some paint around)
Get a bad ass bookshelf
Join something (a book club, roller derby, a knitting circle, get out there and explore)
Buy a camera (take an obnoxious amount of pictures of everything)
Dance the night away (may require mass amounts of alcohol)
Go somewhere historic and sight see
Go mini golfing
Play some laser tag
Go to a sporting event (hockey, football, hell curling will do. Try and learn the rules)
Go ice skating (don’t entirely suck this time)
Build a sandcastle (bonus beach trip)
Go to the circus (how much cotton candy can one consume before they throw up?)
Put some stupid color in my hair (maybe pink so my grandma will back down about me only wearing black)
Have a Tarantino movie marathon (popcorn, maybe that breakfast burger)
Read 10 books (finish them! That collection of half finished books is calling your name)
It’s not exactly brilliant but wanna hear something crazy? A list of things I wanna do makes me happier then a list of shit I CAN’T do. So fuck New Years resolutions you have to find what works for you. Chili cheese breakfast burgers sound better then waking up early even if that’s exactly what I have to do to get one. I hate working out but laser tag, bouncy houses, and hiking those things require movement and I love them. Sandcastles? I just like sandcastles but with all the bouncy house action I’ll look fabulous in my bikini. Boom!